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When a friend chooses to date someone old enough to be their partner, the common retort often lies in applying the "half their age plus seven" test. This rule, shrouded in mystery concerning its origin, has been handed down through generations as a tool for either endorsing or, more frequently, criticizing the romantic pairings of others. It's generally accepted for a 22-year-old to date an 18-year-old, but frowned upon for a 38-year-old to see a 23-year-old. Conversely, a relationship between a 26-year-old and a 38-year-old would be deemed acceptable. As age progresses, so does the acceptable age difference, with a 50-year-old able to date someone as old as 86.
This age-old adage, however, may not align with actual practice. A study by Christian Rudder, co-founder of the dating website OKCupid, reveals that men and women tend to approach age gaps differently. Women often seek partners roughly their age, or perhaps a year or two older, while men show a consistent preference for women in their early twenties, irrespective of their own age. As such, women lean towards a minor, constant age gap, while men seem enamored by the idea of a youthful partner, with their preferred age gap widening as they age.
Do men's preferences align with practical considerations? Theoretically, there are many reasons to favor a smaller age gap. Shared nostalgic moments, like humming a beloved childhood TV theme song, can foster a sense of unity and companionship, albeit possibly annoying those within earshot. The simultaneous joy of receiving a free bus pass, or the cost-saving advantage of joint milestone birthday celebrations, are undoubtedly appealing.
Some economists ponder whether smaller age differences could yield broader societal benefits, potentially helping narrow the gender earnings gap. As earnings increase with age, and women usually partner with older men, earnings discrepancies at childbirth may indirectly encourage women to leave the workforce. However, a study comparing Danish twin sisters revealed that women who married older men had comparable average earnings to those who married men closer in age.
A smaller age gap may potentially increase a couple's chances of staying together. In 2014, The Atlantic reported that "a five-year age difference makes a couple 18 percent more likely to get divorced, compared to a couple born on or around the same year." This study, which surveyed American couples and ex-couples, found a correlation between divorce rates and age gaps but did not establish causality. Rather, the personality traits of individuals who choose a spouse with a significant age gap may contribute to higher divorce rates.
Nevertheless, a hopeful individual considering an older partner can find solace in a study from Britain’s Office of National Statistics. This study found no strong correlation between age gaps and divorce rates in England and Wales. There was some indication, however, that women marrying after 30, and with spouses over ten years their senior, were more likely to divorce.
Common sense suggests that a substantial age gap could have repercussions in old age. Having a younger, healthier partner to help navigate one's twilight years is sensible, and can help avoid the hardship of widowhood. Another study by Sven Drefahl of the University of Stockholm found that men over 50 with younger spouses had a longer lifespan than those with spouses of similar age. However, this correlation did not extend to women, who showed worse survival chances the greater their age gap, regardless of whether they were the younger or older partner. For women with younger husbands, the gender difference may be due to less reliance on their partner for support, and consequently reaping fewer benefits from a younger spouse's vitality.
Available evidence, therefore, supports the choices of OKCupid's users: women should opt for men close to their own age, while men should seek out younger women. A rigorous economist, however, would likely require more concrete evidence, perhaps contrasting the marital satisfaction of randomly paired couples with differing age gaps. Regrettably for the economist, but fortuitously for the rest of us, people are free to make their own choices, unconstrained by simplistic rules of thumb.
Exercises
Exercise 1
Exercise 2
Discussion
Discuss the following questions based on the text.
a. Do you think the "half their age plus seven" rule makes sense? Why or why not?
b. How do societal perceptions of age gaps in relationships affect individuals and couples?
c. What factors do you think might influence individuals' preferences for age gaps in relationships?
d. What other societal implications could age gaps in relationships have, according to the text?
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